Deep Sea Death and the Destruction of Something Important

I was part of some class(?) or association(?) that had something to do with working with the ocean or ocean animals, I'm not entirely sure. But I had access to some kind of enormous pool that was designed with a raising and dropping floor, so that if one wanted to draw only more surface types of ocean creatures in to study, then the floor could be dropped only a minimal amount; but if one wanted to study larger and deeper ocean creatures, the floor could be dropped much farther down to allow them in, too. I decided that I wanted to send out a serious message to these people about, in general, human interaction with the ocean and its creatures, specifically, to raise some very serious moral issues about our interactions with it and them. I was particularly bothered by some things, and I felt like these people were just missing it. So, on my own, when no one else was around, I went to this giant pool thing, and put in some kind of large fish, or hell, it could have even been a baby ocean mammal of some kind for all I remember, that was fatally injured and bleeding a lot. I then started to drop the floor of the pool, to lure in all kinds of ocean creatures, lured by the blood. At first, the floor wasn't low enough, so almost no animals were coming in and I was rather confused by the use of the whole contraption; but eventually, I figured it out and sharks and small whales and other fish and whatever else came swarming in. For some reason, I got in the pool myself, and I was swimming amongst them all, and I can remember feeling their slick bodies grazing the bottoms of my feet, or brushing up against my thighs and ribs as they rushed past me, and I was able to touch a few with my hands. It was incredibly scary and exciting and my heart was racing and I was simply thrilled by it all, to be swimming with all these wild and amazing ocean creatures. Somehow, I then raised the pool floor, so that all the animals and creatures were trapped in. While the water was also trapped in, I recall that I specifically let the water drain out, because for whatever it was that I was trying to express, this message, everyone needed *to see* the animals and creatures. Obviously, doing this must have resulted in all of their deaths, but for the moral message, the issue at hand, and what our human interaction was doing to them, it was killing them and destroying them anyway, they were already suffering horribly. And even though these people sort of knew that, they didn't really *see* it, so I wanted them all to see it, to be confronted with that brutally harsh reality, the horrid consequences of their actions, the resulting suffering, mutation, and destruction of all of those living beings. I think there was something about pollution involved, but it surely wasn't the only thing. As it turned out, they completely missed the message. Even worse, the person who was the director of the class or association or whatever it was, knew that it was me, and I was mildly punished for it, and clearly deemed to be some kind of trouble-maker. I was so deeply hurt and utterly disappointed in all of them, that they could just miss the point, misunderstand the message, not see what was happening. It depressed me so much, that I decided at that point to give up on all of them, to turn my back and walk away and lose hope in all of them entirely, because they couldn't understand, they were not thoughtfully deep enough to see it, and thus, it was no longer worth my time to even try with them anymore, because they would simply never understand. I lost my faith in them, and just gave up.


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© Cheryl E. Fitzgerald March 2008